Quotes...! #2

"This conversation has got to end because you're getting dangerously close to being as smart as I am."- Quote from a tv show :P

From ice age:
Manny: Why is it called the "Gorge of Death"?
Buck: We tried calling it "The Big Smelly Crack" but people kept giggling.

Buck: The name's Buck. Short for Buckminster. Long for Buh.

Friends:
[Joey writes a letter to the adoption agency on behalf of monica and chandler. he uses a thesauras to sound "smart"]:
Monica: What was this sentence originally?
Joey: Oh. They are warm nice people with big hearts
Chandler: And that became.... "They are human prepossessing homosapiens with full-sized aortic pumps....?"

Joey: Hey our fridge is broken, i gotta get a new one. i need 400 dollars.

Chandler: Im not givin ya 400 dollars! i dont live here anymore remember?

Joey: Say we're a divorced couple right, and i get custody of the kid. now if the kid dies, i gotta buy a new kid.

Chandler: uh....o...kay...??

Joey: GIMME $400!!!!!

[Rachel is nervous about leaving Emma alone in the apartment for a few minutes]
Rachel: What if she jumped out the basinet?
Ross: Can't hold her own head up, but yeah, jumped.
Rachel: Oh my God, I left the water running.
Ross: Rach, you did not leave the water running. Please, just pull yourself together, okay?
Rachel: Did I leave the stove on?
Ross: You haven't cooked since 1996.
Rachel: Is the window open? Because if there's a window open, a bird could fly in there.
Ross: Oh my god, you know what, yeah, I think you're right. I think... listen, listen.
Rachel: Huh?
Ross: A pigeon, a pigeon. No, no wait, no, no, an eagle flew in.

Landed on the stove and caught fire. The baby, seeing all this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird's aid.

The eagle, however, misconstrues it as an act of aggression and grabs the baby in its talons. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still ablaze are locked in a deathly grip, swirling around in the whirlpool that fills the apartment.
Rachel: If that happens, you're going to feel SO bad.

Mike: There was a rat! Dont worry. I think i got him

Phoebe: no no!! That's Bob!!!

Mike: Oh no! Oh thank god. It's only a mouse.

Phoebe: SUSIE?!!

[Joey loses his health insurance]

Joey: Oh my god... before i could like... get hit by a bus... or.. or get caught on fire you know? now i gotta be careful!?!

Chandler: I dont know what to say man... there's never a good time to....uh... stop catching on fire.

[With fake english accent]

Ross: Right, so when Rigby got his results back from the laboratory, he made a startling discovery! What he believed to be igneous was in fact, sedimentary. Imagine his consternation when.... [sees rachel and monica staring] Oh, bloody hell.

[later]

Proffessor: Do you have a moment to talk about your lecture?

Ross: im sorry ive got plans with my sister

Monica: Manica Gellarrrrrrrrr

Ross: will you excuse us for just one moment?

[privately]What are you doing?

Monica: what you can have an accent but i cant?

[to passing students] top o tha mornin to ya laddies!

Ross: stop. stop.

[go back to proffessor and rachel talking]

Rachel: yees, yees, Bhombhay is vary vary naiice thees time of iyear.

---

Random Lemur: I like them!
Mort the Mouse Lemur: I like them, I like them! I liked them first! Before I even met them I liked them! As soon as I met them I liked them right away! You hate them compared to how much I like them!
Julian: Oh shut up, you're so annoying!

(you might have to have seen the movie to get these)

---

Skipper the Penguin: You, quadruped. Sprechen Sie Englisch?
Marty the Zebra: I sprechen.
Skipper the Penguin: What continent is this?
Marty the Zebra: Manhattan.
Skipper the Penguin: Hoover Dam! We're still in New York! Abort! Dive! Dive! Dive!

---

Julian: Shh! We're hiding. Be quiet everyone. That includes me. Shh! Who's making that noise? Oh, it's me again...

Julian: Welcome, giant pansies. Please feel free to bask in my glow.

Shake-the-pear

You are NOT in for what you thought you were in for when you decided to read this post seeing the heading.

Now.

Shakespeare (Yes, that is the proper form of the deformed phrase in my heading) was a very very intelligent fellow. Slightly mad, maybe. But intelligent, nevertheless.

Seshpare (as my english teacher might refer to him by) thought of things that no average literary artist might think of today. For example, a knight who had no dignity making a solemn oath that some mustard had gone bad.

See, it's creative, innovative, DIFFERENT certainly, original and......... err.... slightly retarded. No offense Mr. Shakey.

The play concepts were plotted cleverly, although somewhere along the way Mr. Pear lost it. Lost what, you may ask? Not the will to complete the play, not the idea, not the writing talent. His sanity, oh yes.

His plays that he meant to come under the genre of 'Fantasy'..... did come under that and his concepts were sensible..............NOT.

Now, Mr Shakespeare had writing talent, oh yes. That is certainly not being denied here. Just.... eccentric path of thought and.. ok. cutting to the chase here. HE TALKED THE LANGUAGE OF MENTAL. Thee, thou, tho, thy wth!? Instead of going "Thou hath hurt thy innermost feelings that thy hath wrapped and safekept for eternal length of time, thou art banished from the Kingdom, this very land that we step foot upon at this very instant and henceforth shalt never show thyself in this sacred space that we shall be dwelt in.", why can't he just say "Look dude, whatever. get lost."

See? So simple.

Looks like Sir Literary Genius had a couple of minor setbacks with his writing. they were works slightly resembling nonsense.

I would very much like to point out that this is told from the mind of a minor. BUT, if thou could fetch me an adult who can actually read a whole unabridged play of shakespeares and say that that person actually:

i] survived it

ii] has retained the same mental position that he hath started out with

iii] enjoyed it (provided the clause ii is satisfied)

,

Thou shalt be praised.

Whoops. Looks like Shakespearitis is contagious.

;)